So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
