Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize