I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
