Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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