I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
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ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
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Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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