just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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