i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
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just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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