I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
