he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
