Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
