This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize