She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
