so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
