I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
