she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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