All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
