UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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