I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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