So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
