great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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