nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
