So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
farters have to be the big spoon...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
