yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize