Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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