i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize