I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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