We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
