girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
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After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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