Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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