the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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