I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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