Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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