Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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