I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
