Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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