I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
