just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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