yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
