that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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