I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
