oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
