he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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