he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
