it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
