Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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