I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
they're like a gay fantastic four
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
