i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
