Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
