I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
