they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
