I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
