Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
