when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Floor bacon is actually really good
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