cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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