I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This show inspires me to have sex in space
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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