I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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