I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
