Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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