I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
