I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
