I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Randomize