is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
